Post Race Feelings

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     Yesterday my team participated in the Amherst Invitational at Hampshire College. It was a cross country race with over 25 teams from 4 different states. Our team had two teams (13 runners) in the varsity race, and various runners in the JV and Freshman race. Scoring for cross country is similar to golf, the lowest score wins, and your overall place in the race determines the point value. The top five runners for each team are scored and compared with other teams. Unfortunately, our varsity A team and JV team came in second, while the Frosh finished first. After the race was when I had a conflict Kant would categorize into desire and duty.
     I finished about 30th in the race and was the sixth man for the A team. I ran a personal record 5k time of 16:42 which I was glad about, but there was one thing that bothered me. Right in front of me there was two kids from the same that edged me out. Those kids were from Danbury, CT and were favored to win, so I was afraid that those kids in front of me would win their team the race. Two points in cross country could be the difference between a win and a loss.
     Therefore, I was quite upset that I couldn't muster the energy to pass them. So as a result, I walked away pretty upset and didn't talk to anyone from my team. When I got back to my teams spot, I threw a lollipop I was given into the wall and kind of hid myself from the team. I think this would be my desire for the conflict aspect, I was upset and didn't want to talk to anyone. At that moment though, my moral duty took over and I started to calm down. I'm a senior captain and I knew that making a scene and pouting wouldn't be the best example. So after that, I started to relax and talk to my coaches and teammates, and I found out we did lose to Danbury, but I would not have made a difference passing those kids. It still was disappointing but not the end of the world.
     The categorical imperative of that whole situation was being a good leader to my teammates even though I wasn't 100% satisfied. I think Kant would agree because being a baby when your supposed to be looked upon for advice isn't the correct way to act. I know I probably shouldn't have ignored my teammates at first but I still fired up from the race. At least I did change my attitude before It was too late.